Chapter Twenty-Five: Moving On

+_

Tammy felt her head become light as she staggered through the village. Her vision became blurry and the sounds from the village mingled together inside her head. She began to breathe raggedly until she collapsed against the side of a circular brick house with a straw roof.

Breathing deeply, she tried to take everything in as she laid there. The information had come like a whirlwind to her. There had been a chance before; her mother could have been alive, but now it was set in stone. She was dead. “Mum,” Tammy muttered, shaking. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner, maybe... maybe I could have—”

“There is nothing you could have done,” a female voice said.

Lillymon laid down parallel to Tammy, looking her in the eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“Hiding; we’re playing hide and seek,” she replied with a gentle smile. “Your mother was a remarkable woman, Tammy—”

“I don’t want pity,” Tammy spat angrily.

“It’s the truth. She wanted so badly to see you again but saving the others was her main priority. She was a mum that you can be proud of.” Lillymon placed a comforting hand on Tammy’s shoulder. “In the Digital World we believe that when someone is truly lost, their spirit joins with the clouds so they can watch over those left behind. She’s watching, Tammy, and I’m sure she’s proud.”

Tears began to trickle down the blonde’s face involuntarily. She was no longer mad, or even sad. “I just wish I could tell her how proud I am of her,” Tammy whispered.

“She knows,” Lillymon said, her voice almost like a warm ray of light. “Now go out there and give her something to watch, it’s up to you and your friends to stop the people who hurt her; crying on this floor isn’t going to help her. But you can.”

“Found you!” a little miniature yellow fox chirped.

“I’ve got to go, Tammy, but make sure I don’t see your egg here next.” Lillymon stood up and fist pounded the air as she faced the little yellow fox Digimon. “Well done, Viximon!” she chirped happily.

“My egg?” Tammy muttered slowly.

“Yes, when someone is reset they turn into an egg,” Lillymon replied, raising an eyebrow. “You knew this already?”

“Even people?”

“Yes.”

“So that means—”

“I’ll show you,” Lillymon said, realising and smiling.

+_

They walked back to the line of Digieggs and Tammy felt slightly embarrassed as they reentered and the others gave her a sympathetic look. “When a Digimon returns to here as an egg, if they are strong enough then they will be reborn quickly with their memories intact.” Lillymon looked down at Tammy with a concerned look as she saw the blonde struggling to hold herself together. “Often they Digivolve quickly and they leave and do what they were doing before, but…”

“Which one is she?” Tammy asked, her voice trembling.

“I.” Lillymon sighed. “I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

Tammy looked at the identical eggs and shook her head. “So I don’t get to say goodbye?” she muttered.

“You don’t need to face her to say goodbye. She already knows how much she means to you. And Julia has so small an ego she’ll probably end up thanking you anyway.”

Tammy spun, looking at Jade and Hawke as they walked up the hill. “It’s you,” she muttered spitefully. Although the words were of some comfort she was too proud to admit it.

“Who?” Viximon asked, spinning around to see.

“I think I recognise you,” Jade muttered as they came to a stop.

“I’m Viximon!” the little Digimon chirped happily.

Spiritmon flew over next to Jade. “I missed you, they’re boring,” she said loudly, indicating the others with her eyes and giggling.

“Play nice,” Jade chided playfully.

“I feel funny in my tummy,” Viximon said, looking concerned.

Lillymon looked down, smiling affectionately. “Embrace it, Viximon.”

“Viximon Digivolve to…” A purple and yellow sphere of data exploded from her body and consumed her small frame. The data swirled around for a while until it burst open. “Renamon.” The new Digimon was much taller, still bearing the same colour scheme, but she was now a bipedal fox.

“Wow, Digimon without partners can Digivolve?” Holly exclaimed

“It seems so,” Agumon mumbled, rubbing his chin. It was almost unheard of for a sudden change like that to occur.

“J— Jade?” the Digimon muttered slowly.

“How do you know my name?” Jade looked a little concerned.

“Jade Nedzweski…”

“This is a little weird.”

“...I— I fought you.”

“Maybe I can explain.” Lillymon floated next to Renamon. “If a Digimon is reset with problems or promises unresolved; with a strong enough will, they are reborn almost immediately after their Digieggs reform here, as was the case with Viximon.” She looked at Renamon affectionately. “Normally, those Digimon also Digivolve very quickly, and they tend to leave to finish off what work they had to resume. It hasn’t happened for a fair amount of time now though; I thought that the Digital World might have been all out of strong Digimon.”

“So… I’m strong?” Renamon asked, inspecting her paws.

“When I say strong, the strength I mean comes from your heart rather than your fists,” Lillymon floated in front of Renamon and placed her hand on the fox Digimon’s chest. “And with a heart as strong as yours I’m not surprised you were born quickly.”

“Do you remember what you’ve done?” Cayden asked slowly.

“I remember the screams of pain, the life that left the eyes of many, I remember bearing witness to so much pain.” She looked at her paws in disgust. “But now, I can say that I’m sorry I hurt you, Jade.” She looked up, her eyes apologetic.

“It’s fine, you didn’t really hurt me,” Jade said, smiling.

Renamon looked to be in anguish. “Nevertheless, I will repent for what I have done. My honour is something that seems to be a constant in my past so I will uphold it in the new life I have been gifted as well.”

“That’s very nice of you,” Holly said.

“It is what must be d—” She grasped her head, screaming in pain as new memories, previously buried in her past life, were forced to the surface.

A Digimon in shining armour being reset before her. His face became clearer and then a name formed on her lips. “Gallantmon…”

Agumon shifted uncomfortably.

“Who’s that?” Cayden asked.

“Someone I feel I owe a great deal to, and yet, I think it was I who reset him.”

“Why?” Aiden looked at her, confused.

Renamon shook her head. “I would rather not remember my old self’s wrongdoings, I must simply learn from them and strive to be a better person. It does not do to dwell on the past and forget to live.”

“That’s a good motto to live by, Renamon,” Lillymon said, affectionately. “I will leave you with the Digidestined, I have to go check on the other Digimon.”

“What do you mean by Digidestined?” Jade asked.

Lillymon stopped at the bottom of the hill. “I mean you, of course.” Her voice was melodic and she smiled brightly.

“How does destiny involve losing?” Tammy asked bitterly as she knelt in front of the eggs, Hawke by her side.

“Loss in life and of life is inevitable, Tammy Annaliese, but destiny is using the life you have to make a difference, don’t squander the gift.” Lillymon nodded and then flew away.

“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” Renamon said, walking forwards slowly.

“Don’t,” Tammy stated bluntly.

“But if their strength of heart matches your own, then I have no doubt their return is imminent.”

Tammy gasped, shaking a little.

“Do you really think they could return?” Hawke asked, turning to look at Renamon.

“Yes, and until they do I will make it my duty to protect these five eggs.”

Tammy stood up slowly, walking towards Renamon without looking up from the ground. She almost seemed to be a trance like state, her face darkened and her body limp. As she reached Renamon she threw her arms around the Digimon, pulling her close. “Th— Thank you,” she whispered shakily, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Hawke rubbed the back of his head, standing near Renamon. “I— uh— Thanks, I guess.”

“Don’t be stupid, get in here,” Tammy yelled, pulling him into the hug.

“Your emotions should not be so far onto your sleeve,” Renamon chided the two, a little lightheartedly as she embraced the hug.

“Is that you?” a voice muttered from the bottom of the hill.

The hug slowly broke apart and everyone moved to the edge of the hill, looking down at a strange red dinosaur.

“I used to know a Renamon who spoke like you…”
“I don’t recall your face, I’m sorry,” Renamon said, trying to withdraw a memory but none came.

“That’s okay, fate intertwines all beings, this encounter will prove to be important even though it wasn’t desirable.” The red dinosaur Digimon smiled and then walked off.

Renamon screamed in pain again and Jade moved to help her. Those words. She knew them. Who’d said them? Was it Jade? One of the others? Lillymon? Perhaps that strange Digimon, Gallantmon.

“I must go,” she muttered, rubbing her head.

“Why so soon?” Liomon asked, licking her paw.

“Nothing good happens to those who wait. One must take action and so I will.” She bowed and then left, walking the opposite way to the strange Digimon while rubbing her head.

+_

“So… what now?” Faeremon muttered. He couldn’t think of a logical next step.

“Maybe we discuss sending Aiden and Holly home,” Iontramon suggested.

“No, you can’t!” Aiden yelled.

“I don’t want to see you hurt, Aiden, or Holly either.”

“Holly, me too,” Blackmon added.

“I’m a big girl, I’ll look after Aiden and me, don’t you two worry,” Holly said, smiling brightly.

“There’s a difference between speech and action, Holly,” Iontramon said.

“You haven’t given me time yet,” she replied, pouting.

“That’s true—”

“So give me time and I’ll prove it!” Her grin was almost the full width of her face.

“I suppose…”

“Thank you!”

“Hawke, earlier when you said…” Cayden muttered.

The blond looked down at the ground, wishing it would swallow him up.

“Hawke, remember what we talked about,” Jade urged gently, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Hawke muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Cayden?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think about it?”

“Why does it matter what I think?”

“I just want to know.”

“I guess, I mean, I think that it was up to you how you dealt with your problem.”

“No, Cayden. What do you really think?”

“That was what I think!” he protested.

“Cayden.”

“You’re stupid.” Cayden felt a weight lifted off his chest as he said the words, breathing a sigh of relief but now the floodgates were open. “You’re annoying, abrasive, manipulative, selfish, self-centered and I think you have to get over what happened. When a business crashes, you fold it and move on; you can’t dwell on the past forever or you’ll end up broke and at the moment you’re completely broke. There’s nothing but sadness behind your eyes but it’s all self-inflicted, Hawke. No one, not Julia, Isabelle, Agumon, or us blames you for what happened. You blame you.”

Jade placed a hand on Cayden’s shoulder. “Stop,” she whispered, gently, getting him to calm down as his vocal speed and breathing had accelerated far beyond normal.

“There’s more,” Hawke urged.

“Hawke,” Jade muttered.
“I want to hear it. No, I need to hear it.”

“Ever since we’ve came here, all you’ve done is wallow in self-pity and try be the cool loner kid and it’s damn annoying! We’re all sick of it. No one thinks you’re cool for sectioning yourself off all the time. You might actually be cool if you spent time with us and got to know us. Heck, Aiden’s been fawning over you and trying to get your approval for so long and he’s lucky if you’ve said two words actually to him.” Aiden blushed but Cayden kept going. “That’s the problem with you, we’re just sounding boards to you. You’re trying to use us to vent out all these stupid thoughts you’re having and we don’t care. Everyone has problems. Everyone has to deal with stuff. Heck, I’ve never even met my parents but I don’t cry about it like you guys! Buck up and sort your life out!”

“Cayden.” Holly gasped as the older boy’s chest moved up and down fervently.

Hawke simply nodded in acceptance while Tammy’s clenched her fists, trying to hold back her frustration. “It’s nice to know that you see me for what I am: an attention seeking failure.”

“There you go again! Stop wallowing in self pity and move on for christ’s sake!” Cayden groaned, walking around full circle and clenching his fists. “You need to snap out of this! Everyone’s worth something! That means you are too!”

“Even if I agree to that my number must be so small—”

Cayden stormed over and punched the boy in the face, knocking him to the ground. “Shut up! I’ve heard enough of your whiny poor me my life sucks crap! Move on or so help me…”

“Again, again!” Liomon chimed but Jade silenced the Digimon with a glare.

“Well?” Hawke said, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth.

“Well what?” Cayden yelled, his tone losing some of its luster halfway through.

“What will you do to me?”

Cayden growled and picked the boy up by his shirt, locking eyes with the blond. “I’ll make you live your goddam life every single day for the rest of it because you aren’t taking the easy way out. I’m not gonna let you give up and quit on yourself just because you’re angsty at the moment.” He released Hawke forcefully and moved close to his face. “And I’ll make sure you smile every single day you.” He clenched his fists, trying to find the word.

Hawke’s gaze urged him on, willing him to say it.

“Freak.” Cayden breathed a sigh of relief as the anger left him but then he felt a pang of sadness that he’d said something so cruel. “I didn’t—”

“It’s said, it’s what I am.”

“What did I just say!” Cayden yelled but he simply groaned. “You’re never going to learn, are you?”

“Learn what?”

“The value of this gift they gave you, you’re just going to squander it.”

“I don’t fawn over Hawke,” Aiden grumbled, kicking the ground sheepishly.
“Hawke, I believe you matter,” Holly said quietly.

“What?” Hawke muttered, not sure how to reply.

“I like you and you should too,” she said, smiling warmly.

“You’re too young to understand,” Hawke replied, brushing her off by looking away.

Holly pouted. “I’m not too young to see you always want a hug but you never want to ask.”

“I don’t—”

“Hawke, are you going to leave again?” Aiden twiddled his thumbs awkwardly.

“Aiden—” Iontramon began comfortingly.

“No.” Hawke looked at Tammy. “I’m staying.”

Cayden stumbled, flying into Hawke and knocking the blond to the floor. He quickly followed, landing directly on top.

“Ewww, is this because Hawke’s ray? It’s gross!” Aiden exclaimed, mock gagging in disgust.

“He’s not ray, Aiden, he’s gay,” Jade corrected.

“It’s still gross.”

Cayden looked down at the blond awkwardly, noticing that the blond haired boy wasn’t even looking at him. The fact he was still winded prevented him from moving much, if at all. He looked at Hawke, who was looking as far away from Cayden’s face as he could. The ravenette noticed a bruise forming on Hawke’s cheek, suddenly regretting his punch. “Could you... move?” Hawke asked quietly, sounding slightly dazed himself.

“It’s been a little long guys,” Jade whispered, trying to look away, covering her eyes and those of Holly.

“I can’t breathe,” Cayden wheezed.

“That doesn’t sound as romantic as you think,” Tammy commented snidely.

“Back to your usual self, eh?” He was barely able to breathe but managed to push himself off Hawke and onto his back.

“Shut up.”

Spiritmon giggled a little and then burst out laughing.

“You little,” Jade seethed. “How did I not guess you first?”

“Because I’m smart,” Spiritmon chimed, fluttering about.

“Don’t push it,” Jade said laughing.

“I thought it was funny!” Holly said, laughing.

“Someone appreciates my genius.” Spiritmon stuck out her tongue, laughing again after.

Hawke pushed himself up. “So, I guess it’s time to go?” he muttered.

Cayden sat up too, rubbing his chest. “Yeah.”

“Did you two kiss?” Aiden asked, crouching down to look at them.

“Wha— no,” Cayden exclaimed, blushing and pinching his nose. “We just fell, that’s all.”

“You fell for a while,” Spiritmon teased.

“Yeah,” Aiden chimed in.

“Shush, Aiden,” Cayden chided gently, standing up.

“Do we have to leave?” Tammy asked, turning to look back at the eggs.

Jade walked over, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll be at the entrance, see you there maybe.” The footsteps of her, Holly, Aiden and the Digimon resounded as they all walked off.

“Hawke?” Wolfmon muttered but the blond brushed him off and the Digimon eventually left with Cayden.

Tammy sat back down in front of the eggs, pulling her knees into her chest. “I like to think I know which one she is…”

Hawke sat down next to her, glancing over the eggs. “But you don’t.”

“Yeah.”

“One time, we were in this cave. It was the first night we spent here and Julia distracted us all from the new place so we could get some sleep. Afterwards, she stayed up late to make sure the fire we’d built didn’t go out. She never stopped caring.”

Tammy sniffled, looking to Hawke. “The way you talk about her you act like she was—”

“An angel?”

“Something like that.”

Hawke smiled, tracing his eyes over each egg before he replied. “They all were, or rather, now they can be.”

“How did she—”

“Die?”

Tammy gulped, looking at the eggs. “Yeah?”

“Would that really make this easier?”

Tammy sighed, shaking her head. “Could you have—?”

“Stopped it?”

“Yeah.”

“I—” He faltered. “I don’t know, honestly. But, I think about it every time I close my eyes.”

“Hawke?” She looked at her shoes.

“What?”

“I still hate every ounce of you because you survived and she didn’t.” Tammy spoke with spite but she stopped and turned to look at him. “But, I’m glad she wasn’t alone, like I thought.”

“What did you—?”

“She drowned off shore, is what we were told. Apparently, she went for a swim and never came back. I guess it’s better that—” Tammy bit her lip, tears trickling from her eyes. “It’s better she wasn’t lonely.” Tammy coughed, wiping her eyes, shaking slightly. “I want you to promise that your disgusting face won’t give up again.”

“Tammy—”

“Promise me or I’ll... I’ll—” She shook her head. “If you promise me, I’ll find you a nice guy. I know it’s shallow but—”

“I promise, Tammy.” Hawke’s words had been sincere. She wasn’t sure if he was doing it for the guy or genuine reasons but it didn’t matter.

They sat for a moment longer, staring at the eggs. “Goodbye, mum, I’ll make you proud. I’ll even eat my vegetables.” She breathed deeply. “I promise I’ll give you something to watch.” She stood up slowly, waiting for Hawke.

“I’ll make use of the gift you all gave me this time, guys. I will make it up to you all. As much as I hate you all for doing this, I promise you that.” Hawke wiped his nose, a little shaky but mostly strong and stood up, turning to Tammy. “Let’s catch up before they leave us.”

“I hate running.”

“I know, I didn’t forget,” Hawke said, smirking as they started to run.

+_

Kumo: Okay, so another soppy chapter, sorry! The next one will definitely have a bit more pace but we both think it’s important you understand the characters as well as we do.